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17th of September 2020 #SarbatSocial on preference

Sat Sri Akal – Hello and thanks for joining our SarbatSocial for today. My name is Dharam and I am being supported by Makinder – Thank you very much Makinder.


Today is a day for an uncomfortable conversation – it is not easy but needs to be had. The topic for today is very wide and we may never be able to fully cover all aspects. But technology today (fingers crossed) will help scratch the surface a bit.


Today is split into a few sessions – and since the numbers are fairly large, we will create rooms to enable you to have more indepth conversations.


By recieving our guidelines, we expect you to have read them and We expect you to be respectful towards others in this group
There have been several discussions around why certain racial groups are worse off than others in many ways. It is highly pertinent to discuss this at a time when there is growing recognition of multiple forms of race discrimination (conscious and sub-conscious)
The way I confront this is conditioning/socialisation  – My experience (and my conditioning) has meant that dating preferences are often lazy shortcuts for generalizations about body shape, size, hair, personality, education level, degree of aggressiveness/passivity, height, relationship goals and certain things i cant talk about.


Socialization is the process which teaches us subconsciously to act, speak and even think according to what is considered “normal” in our culture. Socialization is the reason why French men (of any sexual orientation) usually greet each other by kissing each other on the cheek. In contrast, German (especially heterosexually identified) men shake hands to do the same. Socialization causes us to internalize these patterns of behaviour and thinking until they become our “second nature.” Even if there are no biological reasons for these patterns, they still will feel “natural” to us.


Socialization is like an invisible force that guides us without us recognizing it. It enables us to function within our culture and to communicate and interact with other people in our society. However, without us being aware of it, it also forces us to behave according to the norms, rules and values of our culture. We not only act according to our socialization; even our thinking is guided by it.
This is another one of a really well attended SarbatSocial and to give everyone a fair chance, I have created a short agenda (see below).

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